MANosterone’s 17 Step Guide To Seducing Your Sister-In-Law On Your Wedding Day

Published on January 12th, 2013
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Step one: compliment her on her outfit
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Step two: mention how much skinnier she is than her sister
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Step three: casually mention how terrible it’d be if she were the one daughter in the family that never married
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Step four: ask her why everyone hated the bachelorette party she threw for her sister so much
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Step five: emulate the way her dad speaks in case she has a daddy complex
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Step six: finger her at the rehearsal dinner
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Step seven: when giving the rehearsal dinner speech, talk about how excited you are to be gaining a sister
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Step eight: Also mention during the speech that you love having sex with your sisters
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Step nine: When everyone’s watching the bride walk down the aisle, reach over and finger her again at the alter
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Step ten: During the mother-groom dance, get a big boner. Then point to it, then point to your sister-in-law and yell over at her: “this is because of your boobs”
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Step eleven: During your sister-in-law’s speech, wait until she starts tearing up when talking about how much she loves her sister. Cackle really loudly and say “What a bunch of horeshit!”
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Step twelve: When enjoying a round of cigars with your groomsmen outside, don’t smoke all of your cigar: leave enough room at the end to plunge into your sister-in-law later
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Step thirteen: At the big cake-cutting ceremony, rub cake all over our wife’s face. Later, when you’re caught going down on your sister-in-law, you can tell your wife you saw some cake down there and thought it was your wife’s face
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Step fourteen: when shaking hands with your father-in-law, feel him out a bit to see if he was one of those incestuous child-molesting type of dads. If so, he may have some hot tips on pleasuring his girls
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Step fifteen: Wait until the DJ plays either “Dancing in the Streets,” “Brown Eyed Girl”, or anything by Jack Johnson. If your sister-in-law sings along with any of that shit, don’t bother with her — she has a horrible taste in music and you don’t want that spreading to your dick
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Step sixteen: Explain to her that she shares exactly 25% of her DNA material with her sister – so it’s not really cheating as long as your penis stays in the upper right hand corner of her vagina
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Step seventeen: Bang every other female in her family until she finally wants in on the action (save the grandmother for last, just in case your sister-in-law caves before then (because it’d be gross to bang a grandmother (or maybe not)))
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