So you’ve bangin’ this broad for awhile now, and chances are she’s in your network of friends, which means at some point you gotta hang with her husband. This is a total drag for several reasons— not only because he probably sucks (while else would she be bangin’ you?), but also the crushing guilt you may feel for having relations with the one person he thought truly understood and loved him. He’s also probably a homo.
Offer Friendly Advice: Try giving him some hot, proven-to-work tips on seducing his wife
Break Bread: Learn to make the perfect breakfast omelet, for those awkward morning meetings
Be Thoughtful: Buy him tickets to his favorite sporting event, so you can fuck his wife without him having to walk in and see it
Be Honest: Tell him all the jokes his wife has cracked about his teeny penis
Pick Up The Tab Once In Awhile: Especially on days like Valentine’s Day and their anniversary in which you convinced her to bail out on him and go out with you
Be Respectful Of His Property: Try to keep your load on her side of the bed
(images via Imitation Paradise)