8 Tips For Enjoying A Swingers’ Party With Your Wife

Published on April 12th, 2011
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So your wife finally convinced you to go to one of them swingers’ parties, eh? Well, don’t worry, you can Tivo the game for later and don’t really have to worry about what you’re going to wear. To really enjoy the party, however, you’re going to have to follow a few simple tips. 

Like these:

When you first show up, your wife will no doubt be eager to get going with the first two dudes she sees, so you’ll be on your own from here on out. Play it cool; don’t just stand there masturbating.

Find two chicks who are making out on a couch and stand next them. They’re probably about to get up and go to a bedroom to get it on, leaving open valuable couch real estate. Now you got a seat – score!

Every once an awhile get up and peak in on your wife getting double banged by those dudes. It’s important to keep an eye on things.

Often times the host will put out some food – go ahead, help yourself to some sandwiches. Just be sure to pick out all the pubic hair before eating anything.

When your wife is done getting banged, she’ll probably be coming back into the living room looking for some more action. Try impressing her by pointing out what an awesome seat you managed to grab before she goes back into the room for another round of getting pounded.

If you find yourself in a conversation with a lady who seems like she may be interested in a little action with you, immediately propose to her.

Find the original two guys who banged your wife earlier in the night and talk to them a bit about their experience. For instance, in between her begging for more, did she happened to mention she noticed that you cleaned up the entire guest bathroom at home?

At some point you’ll probably just explode from all the anger and resentment towards your cheating wife. Try channeling this rage into something productive, like painting or cutting yourself.

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