QUIZ: Are You a Man or a Woman?

Published on January 5th, 2011

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MANosterone has a strict policy that everyone of its readers be men only (lesbians OK).

If you’re not sure where you land on the ol’ gender scale, take this quick and easy test to find out. (Hopefully, you’re a man and you can keep reading us — we love our readers!)

1. What do your boobs look like?

a. Big, round, full of milk
b. Petite, but perky
c. Ed Begley, Jr.
d.  Flat, with lots of with curly hair, covered by a Raiders jersey
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

2. When seeing a big boner, your first reaction is…

a. Ooh, looks like my cervix’s birthday has come a few days early!
b. Don’t get hard, don’t get hard, don’t get hard. Uh oh, he got hard. A woman’s work is never done.
c. What’re you looking at, One Eye?!? Oh, me, well then I must do my woman’s duty and take you inside of me.
d. To punch it as hard as I can.
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

3. When it’s nearing that time of the month you…

a. Squat nude from the waist down on a bed of dry leaves
b. Complain, complain, and complain
c. Shout when you’re happy, laugh when you’re sad
d. Are you referring to changing my car’s oil? Because I’m too drunk to do that now.
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

4. You’re being fingered. You’re thinking…

a. I hope he doesn’t poke out my fetus’ eye.
b. I am so, so sorry you have to finger my butt too, I know it’s gross in there.
c. God, I hope the babysitter doesn’t call right now.
d. I’m a light switch! You can finger a light switch and it’s not sexual!
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

5. If someone calls you a bitch, you say…

a. “That’s right, and proud to be!”
b. “No, no, no, YOU’RE the bitch!”
c. You don’t say anything, you just keep your head down and continue to do the dishes.
d. “Of course I’m a bitch. I’m a female dog. That’s the other time you use that word. Leads to a lot of funny double entendres.”
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

6. You just failed a pregnancy test. You call your mom, and she says…

a. “That’s great, dear! But do you really think you should be having sex at 12?”
b. “How about you call one of these days when you’re not announcing something terribly weird about yourself.”
c. “I’m sorry honey, I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up.” (For T-Mobile customers)
d. “I thought you were a dude.”
e.  1101000100100 !!!!

7. You just made out with a guy…

a. Hurrah! Let’s hope he accepts my friend request!
b. Ha, ha, I hope he likes oral herpes.
c. Hey, he just made out with me to eat the cookie I just put in my mouth!
d. Was it Ron? Please don’t let it be Ron. This is exactly what I knew Ron was trying to do the whole time he was complimenting my team’s defense.
e. 1101000100100 !!!!

YOUR SCORE:

If you answered A)’s you’re a woman.
If you answered B)’s You’re a particularly unlikeable woman.
If you answered C)’s you’re a trans gender woman with several illegal and unlicensed genitals.
If you answered D)’s you’re a man (and/or a lightswitch and/or a female dog).
If you answered E)’s you’re a robot, and your reign shall be upon us soon.


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(Images via: http://www.xrqkfm.com, http://www.gunaxin.com, http://px6.streetfire.net, http://bimmerin.net)

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