By WarCrusher, Orc Chieftan/ MANosterone Dating Advice Columnist
Look at her stomach. It big stomach? Can carry much children?
Then she perfect mate! Hit her with stone or dull side of axe! Take back to lair and fill her with new Orcs!
…But if her stomach small…. She imperfect mate. Must hit her with sharp side of axe. Leave her body for vultures. Life hard battle ever present no room in Orc village for mate no bear many warriors. Even if she good personality, no make up for it, still must kill.
Really, really good personality? Mayyyyybe. Maybe. Talk to Orc Chieftan, though he probably say still kill her. Knowing Orc Chieftan. Real stickler for kill her.