Women like to have penises shown to them. Period. It really doesn’t matter whether they know the person who has the penis or not. They like being shown penises at the theater, in the park, they like having someone throw a chair through their closed bedroom window, crawl through the window onto their bed with their penis dangling out of their dirty jeans.
But before you show them your penis, whether it’s on a first date or on the bus, you want it to look its best. Here below are MANosterone’s grooming tips for your penis before showing it to a woman:
- Spit on it to make it look like it’s been crying.
- Make sure it has at least one tattoo of an offensive word or phrase on it.
- Try to spill food on it, that way she knows you sometimes scoop up food with your penis.
- Part your pubic hair on the side if you want to give off a sense of professionalism.
- Part your pubic hair in the middle if you want it to seem like it knows how to have fun.
- Crudely affix a razor-sharp bird’s beak to the end of your penis, that way she will know it cannot be stopped.
- Spangle your penis using a hot glue gun and brightly colored spangles, so she will know your penis is up to date with youth culture.
- Tape human ears to your penis. This will make it seem like a good listener.