By WarCrusher, Orc Chieftan/ MANosterone Dating Advice Columnist
Women are just bones and buckets of guts! They not resist or they dealt with accordingly! When invading human village you must sniff dry, powdered blood of dragon to drive mad so all you are is muscle and swinging axe and women no different deal with than village!
Wait till you see her coming out of Starbucks or gym then sniff dragon blood then run at her with froth on mouth and eyes rolled back in head then pulverize her until she can no more screams!
Make sure to have cage or she run! And women fast! Women is all legs and hair and when afraid their hearts full of courage! And courage must be snuffed!
If no can capture woman coming out of Starbucks or gym then trick woman into wandering in frozen North until they can wander no more then EAT THEM!
No wait don’t eat them! That no work cuz then they be no more!
When they captured then put bed in cage size of cage so no matter where they are in cage they in bed!
Now woman in bed! Victory is yours! Celebrate in typical Orc fashion by downloading 30 Rock off Hulu, enjoying self immensely because Tracy Jordon don’t let up! Then follow up with pint of grog! Then follow up with get into argument with fellow Orc over nothing then kill him then no regrets cuz you Orc!